So how do you start a story like this? It's not one I ever imagined writing. Growing up, the fairy tale you hear goes something like this...
You grow up, find that special someone, get married, have kids, grow old, and live happily ever after.
Well for us it hasn't happened quite like that.
Leslie and I were married June 21, 2008. I'd say around April of 2009 we started trying to have kids and when we hadn't had any success by January of 2010 we began seeing doctors to try to help. As of September, the doctors had done everything they could and we still didn't have any kids. We were forced with a decision: spend thousands of dollars on in vetro fertilization or consider adoption.
The decision was not a strictly financial one, but the fact that we could blow all that money on IVF when it only had about a 40% success rate did factor into the decision. But to be honest, we never even seriously considered IVF because God just kept opening doors that led us to adoption and just gave us an overwhelming sense of peace that adoption was the route He had picked out for us. So after a few weeks of prayer and thinking and talking it over, the choice was made... WE ARE ADOPTING!!! That's where the easy choices ended. Now we had to figure out if we were going to adopt domestically or internationally, what adoption agency we were going to use, how would we pay for it, what race would we adopt, would we consider special needs, what about sibling groups. It was all very overwhelming.
Ever since we began considering adoption, God really put international adoption on my heart. I don't think Leslie cared if we did domestic, international, or if we just stole a baby from a stroller at the mall. She just wanted a baby, and it didn't matter how. But in my mind, children born in America are already going to have a leg up on people born into similar circumstances in poorer countries. Here, the government is going to make sure that you are cared for, fed, clothed, and educated. Also, the simple fact that you are in America means that if you are willing to work hard and dedicate yourself to a purpose, then you can pull yourself out of whatever circumstances you're in, and I knew that wasn't always the case everywhere. I couldn't shake the image of our kid being cold and hungry because we were unwilling to search the world over for him or her. I heard people say that the children here need help too, and that's true. But that doesn't mean that children all over the world need the help any less. And it certainly didn't mean that the kids here were any more special than those from other parts of the planet.
So in my head the decision was made - we were going to adopt internationally! In my head, there were 2 major obstacles to overcome, #1 - the money, and #2 - convincing Leslie.
With all the additional travel and fees, international adoption cost 2-3 times what domestic adoption cost. If you know me very well, you know that money is a big deal to me. Not that I'm greedy, but that I have to know how much we've got, where it's going, and if we're about to make a big purchase, I've got to know where the money is going to come from. This presented somewhat of a problem for me because as strongly as I felt that we were supposed to adopt internationally, I knew we couldn't afford what it was going to cost us to bring our kid home.
Then, one day in church, I could hear God saying not to worry about the money, but to simply take a leap of faith and follow Him without knowing how it was all going to work out or where the money would come from. He said to simply follow Him and leave room for faith. It was really a lesson that if we never put ourselves into a position where ONLY God can orchestrate a solution then we'll never truly get to see God work miracles.
So obstacle #1 was out of the way. Now on to obstacle #2 - Leslie. We had been told that international adoption could be a little hair raising because of all the red tape of having to deal with 2 different governments and the language barrier and that we should always expect delays because the laws change so fast. All of that added up to a lot of uncertainty that I was sure Leslie was not going to go for. So how was I going to convince her of way God had already convinced me of?
As it turns out, I should've just had a little more faith that God could handle it. When we were leaving church the day that God convinced me not to worry about where the money would come from, I said something to Leslie about how I was really being led to international adoption and what I felt like God had said to me during the sermon. She said she heard the same message, and she was all aboard for international adoption.
With both of us hearing the same message about faith and money in the same service you would have thought that the message would've been from Hebrews 11 and the Hall of Fame of faith or about tithing or something like that. Nope! It was about the life of Samson and how he wasted all the opportunities God gave him. Nothing about faith. Nothing about money. Whoever said we'd understand God's plan or His timing?
So another decision was made! We're adopting internationally. So we're getting closer to finding our child. We've narrowed down our choices from every country on the face of the planet to every country on the face of the planet except for the United States. Hmmm. We still got some work to do here.
So how do you go about choosing what country to adopt from? What about choosing an agency? Actually, those 2 go hand in hand as each agency only works with certain countries. the only way I know of for sure was to pray. God had led us this far, surely He would reveal the rest of the path, right? Well, almost immediately, Leslie was drawn to the Ukraine, but she couldn't really explain why. It wasn't a country she knew much about, and nothing had happened that drew her attention there. It was just on her mind a lot. I, on the other hand, was drawing a blank. I wasn't led anywhere in particular, and I kept waiting for confirmation for what God's plan was. After a few weeks, I was still just as clueless as day 1, but Leslie was more convinced than ever that our kid was waiting on us in the Ukraine. So without ever getting that solid confirmation I wanted, I stepped out in faith believing that God was leading Leslie straight to our kid.
It didn't take long to get that confirmation. We were sitting around a tailgate at a State game talking to some of our family about what we were thinking and that we were getting ready to adopt from the Ukraine. My Aunt Johnnie was there and she told us that she had a friend, Becky, that lived in the Ukraine and that we should look her up on Facebook. So Leslie found Becky and emailed her through Facebook. Any guesses as to what Becky was doing in the Ukraine? She works at an orphanage! BAM!!! I'd say that was confirmation, wouldn't you?
No sooner than we finally figured out where we were going to adopt from, we got an email from the adoption agency we decided to use (All God's Children International) about a bill currently in front of the Ukraine Parliament. If it passed, it would not allow any adoptions with any country that did not have a bi-lateral agreement with the Ukraine, which included the U.S.
For the bill to become a law, it would have to pass 2 readings in the Parliament and then be signed by the President. It had already passed one reading and was waiting to be put on the agenda for the second reading.
Well, we were just told 2 days ago that it was scheduled to be on the agenda for December 16. However, it looks like that is going to be a busy agenda and this is a low priority bill. So hopefully it won't even be read again. Also, we're told that because there's no provision for special needs adoption in the bill, even if it does come up for the second reading, it may get voted down. Also, to the best of my understanding, the bill has been changed slightly since the first reading. The work "bi-lateral" was removed, so that it now reads that adoptions would not be allowed with any country that does not an agreement with the Ukraine. Basically, this would open the door for multi-lateral agreements. Which means that even though the U.S. does not have a direct agreement with the Ukraine, we do have an agreement with another country that does have an agreement with the Ukraine and can still adopt. Still if it's all the same, I'd just assume it not pass. Status Quo is OK with me. I don't like all of this unknown.
However, whatever happens we still feel like God is calling us to find our kid in the Ukraine. We just have to have the faith to know that He is leading us to him or her. If He can provide the finances for us, then He can orchestrate the circumstances whereby we are able to bring them home.
On a completely different note, it's very cold here tonight - in the 20's with gusty winds. I pray, wherever our kid is, that they are warm, well-fed, and comfortable as they sleep. I don't even know them yet and I love our kid so much. It's truly unexplainable.
Blake
Blake
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